The Tails Chronicles
by Ninstation X
Summary: We've all known Tails to be the cute, little fox. Turns out he almost destroyed the world. Dive deeper inside the seemingly innocent looking fox to find the cause to his frustration. With testimonials from Sonic & Co.
1. Chapter 1

"Hello, I'm talkshow host Bipsy Bojiggles, and I'm here with an amazing story to cover that will most likely make me set for life.

War. Desperation. Suffering. Confusion. Like Mashed Potatoes _of Hatred_.

An amazing event occurred recently that, quite frankly, nearly wiped out the human race. What force on earth could possibly cause so much pain, misery, and threaten all of life itself?

You guessed it. A cute, harmless-looking fox.

Our first business will be to interview the people who first suspected the darkness of the fox.

Joining us is the world renowned Sonic the Hedgehog."

"Hiya!" cheerily said Sonic.

"Can you tell us when you first noticed Tails might have a minor _problem_?" Bipsy carefully said.

"Well, last Saturday I had came back from going to the grocery store TO THE EXTREME and found Tails laying on the couch with a knife in his hand.

He was mumbling things in his sleep like 'if only Eggman would have aimed a little higher...' and 'with all 7 chaos emeralds, my preparations to kill Sonic will be complete.'

I just didn't know what to make of it."

Bipsy now had a fake smile she was trying to hold.

"Yes, who could have possibly known what could happen next..." Shadow sarcastically said as he walked out onto the stage.

"And here we have Shadow the Hedgehog," announced Bipsy. "Shadow, sir, can you tell us when you first suspected the Tails Treachery?"

"It was when I asked him to pick me up some milk," started Shadow. "He brought some milk back to my house and put it in my fridge. I poured a glass and drunk it then broke out in hives. I'M ALLERGIC TO MILK. HE WAS TRYING TO KILL ME."

"Then why would you ask him to get you milk?" questioned Sonic.

"It was a test. It was also Soymilk."

"Did you ever tell him you were allergic to milk?" questioned an even more confused Sonic.

"He didn't pass the test, Sonic."

"Why would you drink something you're allergic to anyway?" chimed in Rouge.

"HE DIDN'T PASS THE TEST. HE'S INSANE," yelled Shadow.

"Now we're here with the lovely Rouge," said Bipsy. "Hello, Ms. Rouge."

"Hello my little _jewel_," Rouge said while gliding to her seat.

"Ms. Rouge, when did you notice that Tails might be a little _off_?"

"Well, everytime I flirted with him, he never got uncomfortable or played along with it. Almost like a child would react."

"He's 8," said Sonic.

"And I'm Double D's," exclaimed Rouge.

"That's all for today," said Bipsy. "We'll have testimonials from the hospitalized next."


	2. The Victims

"The other members were caught completely off-guard by Tails's new found villainy," said Bipsy, who directed everyone's attention to the monitor. "We couldn't get Cream in the studio due to her health problems, but we've got a live feed of her so she can tell her story."

"H-Hello everyone," Cream said weakly.

Sonic looked in disbelief. "Don't you think it's a bit inconsiderate to be asking her to give a testimonial to relive the pain while she's still struggling on the hospital bed from _that_ incident?!"

"**I WANT RATINGS!**" yelled the dark side of Bipsy.

Shadow glared. "Is your nickname, Bipsy the Bit.."

"HEY!" came Cream's voice from the monitor. "It's getting pretty hard to keep acting cute when you people are pissing me off with your loud ramblings! Now let me tell my story, _innocently_ and cutely, then leave me alone."

Bipsy started to speak, "Cream the Rabbit recently suffered ear damages because of the Dark One's reign. Cream, why would _he_ do this to you?"

"Well..." Cream remembered in a cutesy voice.

-flashback-

"Whoa, it's a little cloudy today. Oh well, I'm gonna skip down the lane," Cream said with enthusiasm.

-a dark figure with two tails appeared in front of her-

"Hi, want to do happy things?" asked Cream.

"You're part of the problem," said the dark creature.

"What?"

"You're part of the problem."

"What?"

"You're part of the problem."

"...am I still a part of the problem?"

"Your ears and face are."

"Wha, why?"

Tails stepped out of the shadows. "_I_ was suppose to be the cute one. I would have let you have that, but you wanted to be greedy and take my unique flying ability too. AND YOU HAVE THAT CHAO. You're like a Super Me. And I can't have that."

Cream already left and was skipping down the street. Tails jumped over to her and started viciously pulling on her ears.

"Cheese, Get Him!" yelled Cream, but to no avail.

"Oh, you're calling for your chao?" Tails said with disgusting amusement. "I just spread a nasty little rumor about how the presence of chao keep the poor in their moneyless condition."

"But that doesn't even make any sense!" cried Cream.

"Well, tell that to the struggling homeless," taunted Tails as he laughed with evil. "All the chao of the world are being eaten by the homeless as we speak. In hopes that it will solve their life situation!"

"No!!"

-End Flashback-

"Back then, I forgot I had Cheese locked up in my house for eating some ice cream I bought. So none of the homeless would be able to get to him," Cream said while eating some chao limbs dipped in a tangy, brown mustard sauce.

"But how did you get away with both your ears from that incident?" asked Bipsy.

"I just overpowered him and flew away," cheerily said Cream.

"That easy?" said Bipsy.

"Well, like he said. I'm like a super version of him."

"Thank you for your time, Ms. Cream," calmly said Bipsy, "but somebody wasn't as lucky as you."

"Since when does _battery_ land anywhere in the lucky category?" smirked Rouge.

-The monitor quickly switched to an egg-like figure-


	3. The Victims Part 2

Eggman appeared on the monitor.

"I was just enjoying an Eggshake in my lair-of-kindness-to-humanity," Eggman said innocently.

"And here we can already see that this testimonial is going to be off the mark," commented Sonic.

"Shut up, you putrid hedgehog. If you wouldn't have harbored that two-tailed menace, then I could have still been doing good deeds for the world like.."

"Like blowing it up," said Shadow.

"Yes, like blowing it up, you filthy little insects! Mwahahaha!! ..oh great, my innocent cover is gone. Now the cops are going to be after me while I'm hospitalized. I'll have to escape _eggcellently_."

"Wait!" said Bipsy, "before you eggscape, I mean escape, could you tell us how you came to be hospitalized?"

"It was that horrid fox that now frequents my nightmares."

-Flashback-

"Stupid hedgehog and his stupid speed," snarled Eggman while working on some generic big boss robot.

The door to his lair suddenly blew open, and a demonic creature entered.

"I've waited, Eggman."

"Waited for what?!"

"I've waited years for you to off all of these new characters, yet they all keep being alive. Year after year. Game after game. They stay, and more keep coming, yet you can't kill anyone of them decently."

"Are you going to eat my soul?"

"No, I'm going to fry me an egg."

-End Flashback-

"I died that day," Eggman said in a sad tone. "I'm afraid to do evil again. My yolk is broken."

"Poor egg's been cracked," said Sonic.

"...I guess that's enough for one episode," said the freaked out Bipsy.


	4. The Diary

"Bipsy Bojiggles here with breaking news! We've raided the Tails household and found a diary that chronicles Tails's thoughts up to _the time_.

All entries seem to be written right after the time period mentioned in the diary."

_1st Entry _

Sonic the Hedgehog 2

Dear Diary,

I've just gotten a newfound purpose. I met this guy named Sonic, and he's really cheery. We both stopped this mean man from destroying the world.

I wonder what made that mean man want to destroy things. Too much cholesterol? He should stop eating so much.

_2nd Entry_

Sonic CD

That weird guy had this weird anti-Sonic to try to beat Sonic up, but I knew Sonic would win. There was this pink girl who was getting a little too close to him though...

Oh well, as long as she never gets close to Sonikku again.

_3rd Entry _

Sonic 3 & Knuckles

So we defeated that mean man again, and Sonic got a new friend. I'm glad we're leaving this island.

_4th Entry_

Sonic Adventure

So that fat man yet again tried to destroy stuff, but it didn't work out. Stupid red guy came back. The only problem is that Big the Cat guy muscling in on my turf, but he's probably too stupid to think of taking Sonic away from me.

_5th Entry_

Sonic Adventure 2

That Shadow guy was just way too close to Sonic. Good thing he's dead now. That bat lady is bugging me though. Something about her is too flashy. She might upstage me, so I'll have to try to outstage her.

_6th Entry_

The breast implants were a failure. :(

_7th Entry_

Sonic Advance 2

So this rabbit thing comes in with the ability to fly, and she has this chao that can beat up anything. She's definitely going to outstage me. What can I do to cope?

_8th Entry_

So, I got a Myspace account.

_9th Entry_

My life is an inferno. ;;

_10th Entry_

I'm beginning to think this myspace account isn't helping me cope.

_11th Entry_

Sonic Heroes

WHY IS SHADOW BACK?!

Newly-updated Hitlist:

Rouge's Boobs

Cream the Rabbit

**Shadow the Hedgehog**

_12th Entry_

Sonic Rush

I saw them up in the sky. That tramp of a woman looked at Sonic too hard. She even held his hand. Yeah, you better retreat back to your dimension.

Hitlist:

Rouge's Boobs

Cream the Rabbit

Shadow the Hedgehog

Once-I-build-a-dimensional-transporter Hitlist:

**Blaze the Cat**

_13th Entry _

Sonic Next Gen

An eyeopening myspace conversation that needed to be noted, diary.

Sonic's#1fan: She kissed him, Darkonecuts. KISSED HIM!

Darkonecuts: When things like that happen, I usually just pout about it, but in a non-caring way.

Sonic's#1fan: ...why am I trying to cope with people like you?


	5. Documentary

"Hello again, everyone!! Are you ready for your BRAND NEW CARS!!" screamed Bipsy.

The audience was confused at first but decided to go along with it if they were going to get new cars.

"Yeah!!" wailed the audience.

Just then, Bipsy realized she wasn't Oprah, and it'd be a tough time trying to get out of the studio alive against car-craving audience members.

"But before that," Bipsy exclaimed, "we're here to watch an unbiased documentary about how the murderous, two-tailed psychopath devastated our lands. Roll it!"

-Documentary-

"We used to think war was the most devastating force on the Earth. We were fools..."

"My babies. All of them. All of them! MY BABIES MY BABIES!"

"I could only see the darkness of my despair that was despairing my darkness."

Well, guess what, America. It's here.

Scary Movie 5, in Theaters on...

-back on stage-

"They show movie advertisements on documentaries now?" said an audience member.

-back to the documentary-

Miles 'Tails' Prower was a vicious, vicious man...fox...manfox.

He rose to power in the year 2007. Historians have yet to figure out what event exactly triggered the darkness of the Fox One. Most believe it was his part in the horrid Sonic Next-Gen game in which he was given sucky roles, sucky attacks, and had to watch Sonic be kissed without a myspace present for him to run to in anger.

A lot of you may be wondering what exactly a two-tailed fox, that is pretty much topped in every way by Cream, can do. Well...

To Be Continued.


	6. Intermission

-"Ever since _that day_, many villains have been traumatized and have been challenged to explore their self-worth and how inferior their existence was compared to The Tails Chronicles"-

-pan to Eggman- "That small fox did what I've been trying to accomplish for 15 years. And even without trying to harness the backfiring powers of the ancient creatures of the past."

-"Well, our villain help group will get you back on track! coughhopefullycough"-

-pan to Tails Doll- "Yeah, after _that_ incident, I tried to act tough. I mean, I was _the_ Tails Doll, yet I found myself..having nightmares about _him_. I'm the one who cursed Sonic R. I'm the one who slurps souls. Why have I sunken so low as to need group therapy?!"

The Group Leader stared, "Yeah, I'm not touching that mess."

-pan to Shadow- "Where am I? What am I doing here?"

"You cleared that up in Shadow the Hedgehog, Shadow," replied the Group Leader.

"No, I mean, what am I doing _here. _I was trying to get to the Pizza Palace."

-"Even those with future evil plans will be able to gather support from our help group"-

"Hello, my name is 'the Emerald Master!' I was going to be another bland, "new" character (that looks suspiciously like Knuckles but with hair pointing upwards instead) in Sonic games who wants to take and/or control the Master Emerald for his own misdeeds...but now I'm distraught. This Demon Fox started off as one of those _Sonic Heroes_. ...who knows when another one of them could go off, and I'd be on their hitlist and be targeted like Eggman."

-pan to Eggman- "Yes, he did visit me in the middle of his rampage. He wasn't kind either."

-pan back- "It makes me wonder if I should just be a mild-mannered accountant instead of another lame Sonic villain. What do you think, Group Leader?"

The Group Leader looked up from playing his GBA. "I didn't listen to most of it, but from what I've heard, you people are so messed up and are beyond repair. Hahahaha."

The whole room sobs.

"Great news, guys! I've secretly video tapped all of your confessions, and this whole episode of emotions is going straight to the internet!" said the hysterical and unworthy group leader as he ran out the room.

-"...Yeah, so, let's see some more _enriching_ discussions in room B"-

-pan to Metal Sonic- "So this whole ordeal made me realize that I really had a crush on Eggman and was jealous of Sonic getting all of his attention."

Everything in world suddenly breaks, including the intermission.


	7. Aftermath

"Hello, Bipsy here once again. 10 years later after our last broadcast, we've finally gotten everything back in the world unbroken. Even the murderous fox."

"Yep, I'm all cured of my evil," cheerily said the rejuvenated fox.

"Tails, how did you overcome the darkness inside of you?" curiously asked Bipsy.

"After rehab, I learned it isn't healthy to keep my emotions balled up inside. So now I express what I feel more positively. Why, just earlier today...

-Flashback-

Sonic and Tails were walking down the street.

"Sonikku!!" Amy yelled as she ran towards Sonic.

"GET THE &!+# AWAY FROM MY GOT DAMN MAN!!" Tails immediately said with ease.

Amy stopped cold.

-End Flashback-

So everything will be fine from now on."

"Yeah, I guess everything is fine," replied Bipsy.

"Oh, and a message to the audience. I keep a set of assorted knives with me at all times, so don't be an Amy."

"Okay, I think that's enough of a broadcast for today," Bipsy rushed.

"But don't you want to hear how I almost cut her up?" said the disappointed Tails.

"Stay Safe, America! Stay REAL Safe!"

HEAG: Happy Endings Are Great.


End file.
